S. O. S.

Excuse me, is that $hit on your $hirt???
And, S.O.S. is not referring to $hit On a $hingle as my dad refers to chipped beef on toast. It is referring to $hit On my $hirt....& the floor, the bed, a bottle, a toy, etc... all coutesy of one $hit $lingin' baby, AKA BiBi. No, she didn't just $ling poo. $he took off her diaper and $lung it around with glee. It just so happened it was a full load. How lovely. NOT. I am not blaming anyone for this but... someone who remain nameless, changed her diaper this morning. Thank you for that but next time do it right or don't do it. I told this nameless person to put her pants back on or she would take off her diaper. And, I even gave this person clean pants for BiBi. But NOOOOOOOooo he...oops, nameless person, didn't put her pants back on her. Of course I could have done it but I was making the twins brekkie and nameless person's "to-go" brekkie, washing dishes, unloading and loading DW, feeding dog, cleaning high chairs, etc....all before peeing. TMI, right? $o when I look around from chores while taking my first bite of my Nutella English muffin, she is very happily laughing, twisiting, shouting, and slinging her diaper. Now if we had a $low motion replay of this you would $ee me leap tall cabinets and baby gates in a $ingle bound. Hope I didn't pull a muscle. There was poo all over her. Poo covered baby...yuck. I would have liked to extracted her from the disaster zone and decontaminated her with a bath but then Litle Miss Maxine would have been left to have her way with the aftermath. That couldn't happen. $o while holding back the $truggling $hit $lingin' culprit and blocking Little Miss Maxine form entering the disaster zone, I baby wiped the area and baby. In the process $.$. $wiped me with her poo covered hands on the front and back of my $hirt. I haven't checked my hair yet. GROSS, the thought of it. No longer hungry for my Nutella English muffin. I am due for a bath anyway. LOL.
Oh the joys. $orry no pics of the $hit $linger available.